Hey Kristin: Breaux Bridge awaits!

By NOLA Celeste

Next week Kristin will experience a different New Orleans and a different French Quarter. The bouncers who attempt to usher you into neon-lit daiquiri shops are slightly more animated now that they are no longer working in 100% humidity. Tiny lights dangle off of the balconies of 19th Century buildings. M’sER is serving Hot Buttered Rum again. The Goths who usually slouch on the Mississippi River levee where I walk my dog have disappeared to seek shelter from the (relative) cold. Strippers huddle in doorways, garish fur coats covering their miniscule outfits.

This trip, however, Joe and I plan to bring Kristin to Breaux Bridge, our post-Katrina refuge that has morphed into a weekend home. We, along with our former downstairs tenant Max, moved into the house a week after Katrina. The thought of living in the “Anywhere USA plus purple and gold Mike the Tiger vomit-covered suburban nightmare” that is Baton Rouge made me want to stab myself in the eye. So we found a place in the country, about 45 minutes from Baton Rouge. Staying there once a week cuts 30 minutes off of my normal NOLA to BR commute.

There is nothing physically remarkable about our Breaux Bridge house – a one-story 1980s green weatherboard building with an attached carport. On the right it is flanked by a sugar cane field. On the left it is flanked by a horse pasture. Our neighbors live in a trailer surrounded by rusted-out cars on blocks and about 15 chickens.

The house is decorated in a style I like to call “Katrina Eclectic.” In an outpouring of Midwestern generosity, attics, closets and garages were emptied of excess stuff by Joe’s parents, friends and neighbors as we waited out the storm in Ohio. We first moved into the house with only an ice chest-sized 1980s wood paneled microwave, two air mattresses, some Christmas plates and a random assortment of beach towels. Some of Joe’s clients in Lafayette (about 15 minutes west) donated various pieces of furniture. Adorning the living room walls are posters from various festivals, an Etch-a-sketch style magnetic message board and a stock certificate documenting my membership in the Henderson-Nina Water System Rural Cooperative. By the picture window is a table I have dubbed the Pantheistic Shrine. The altar cloth is a green paisley sheet that I found in the closet. Covering the table are two gigantic brass candleholders (one of which is the perch for a tiny red Buddha statue), a tiki-type wood carving, an embroidered Christmas manger scene, a lemon meringue-scented candle, an 8x10” picture of Max’s mom from the 1970s (We had to divorce Max as a friend when he began to love certain controlled substances more than he liked us. Why we still have this picture is a topic for a sad future post.) and a partially-filled revolving 8-Track cassette tape holder.

Each object has a story that will not be told here.

Also in Breaux Bridge is Ramona, our Katrina cat. Ramona was dumped on our other pre-Katrina downstairs tenant by an ex-girlfriend who was moving to New York. Prior to Katrina, Ramona was the world’s worst cat. She would hiss at you for no reason, bite you when you tried to pet her and defecate all over the house. The tenant left food and water for her when he evacuated, thinking he would be back in three days. Instead, Ramona was trapped inside a flooded house for almost three weeks. Joe dreaded the thought of finding dead Ramona when he snuck back into the city in a counterfeit “State Farm Recovery Team” golf shirt. He was surprised when he heard a small “Meow?” after busting down the water-swollen door to the former tenant’s apartment. An emaciated Ramona jumped into his arms and began purring. She is now a wonderful, snuggly cat. I think she likes the freedom of living in the country. She even flips over and lets me rub her belly. Sometimes she sits on my chest and “pets me” with an outstretched paw.

Breaux Bridge has had restorative properties for Ramona. It has made her a pet again.

I think a “vacation from her vacation” stay in Breaux Bridge will have restorative properties for Kristin, as well.


Tag: NOLA